once upon a time
i pulled a lonely thread
and all of me unraveled
starting with my head
freed from all my skin
and all this earthly flesh
i wove me back together
and started over fresh
in dreams now do i wander
beyond all howling thought
adorned by paint and flowers
and memories once fraught
the third thing you must know…
…is about the ghosts who live inside you.
you are not some fail or filthy thing
you’re the dreamer and the dream
the norns and all the fates
with your scissors on the string
you’re a prayer of mending
the needle and the thread
the winter witch–the prince-in-spring–
and all the seasons in between
you’re a goddamned necromancer
with black robes flowing in the night
you can raise the dead
and make the old wrongs right
you are your mother and your father
and every god you’ll ever need
and there is power in you yet
the second thing you must know...
...is that we are all strange birds
and we must be careful of magicians
who would carve us into useful things
they will work you if you let them
until back breaks, fingers bleed,
and you choose survival over sleep
first, they'll steal your magic
so they can keep it for themselves
and turn you into something else
next, they'll say, "your body isn't yours
it's only here to make others happy--
let's cut you up for parts
and throw away rest"
they'll train you like a circus tiger
parse out all your needs and wants
to keep you jumping through their hoop
what a fine coat you'll make!
how fine your skin! how soft and supple!
a lady's coat; a landlord's slippers
the universe still comes at night
it winds its way through little crackers
it speaks if you will listen
i've heard it lives in howling woods
and by the shallow sea
glittering in starlight
you might find it as i did
in a fortune cookie or a song
or a flamingo with a broken leg
it asks nothing in return
but offers you adventure
for which you are your own reward
the first thing you must know…
is that the only love that will complete you
is the hardest kind to learn
and it is the love you give yourself
you will not find it in a lover’s kiss
trophies, awards, or accolades,
at the bottom of a bottle, or hidden in a pill
it’s somewhere in the desert
when all hope seems lost
and you are all that’s left
i am the gods who speak and listen
calling from the wilds of your brain
and burned in ink upon this page
REMEMBER ME
you are the child who wandered freely
’til people trapped you in their cage
and taught you how to feel alone
DO NOT BE AFRAID
i am the worm-without-doors
the coiled god of the inner ear
alive inside you, even now
BE AT PEACE
i will be with you in your sorrow
to pull you out of doubt and shame
and love you as you are
one day whilst dreaming
i encountered a fox in the woods
whose right i was missing
“does it hurt?” i asked him
“yes,” came his reply–
“but you must sacrifice to grow.”
“what must I sacrifice?” I asked
“–and to whom?”
“You must offer up yourself,”
the fox said gravely,
“and by yourself be made whole.”